Robot Whores season 6: Capetown Blood Money

Filmed on location in Capetown and presented by celebrity crackhead and rapist, Craig Charles & Philipa Forrester the Robot Whores series returns for it’s sixth season.

For viewers new to this series this is how it works:
Teams of virgin, bed wetting, geeks build machines. The machines are then put in to an arena filled with an oiled up, busty gymnasts. Whichever team’s machine can pin down a gymnsast and make her cum first is the winner.

This team then advances to the next round and has bragging rights that because their robot has had sex with a human girl, since they built that robot, they have too.

This season sees the return of the previous seasons winner Professor P Ledge and his sexbot Sgt Gash (whose 12″ phalus shaped ram is supposedly modelled on the creators own member ) and his close rival Dr Gesaptonik Fruster whose machine Rapertron last year narrowly lost by disqualification after repeated pulverising the wrong hole of the helpless gymnast’s.

Also look out for the new commer R2fistU

This year the stage has been set for the ultimate show down in the AIDS ridden slums of South Africa. When it was filmed the show was in more demand than cheap tickets for the 2010 world cup finals.

The gymnsasts are as fresh and supple as ever and boy do they like to fight. The designers will need every tool in their geeky, sexy arsenal to battle their way to the top, (through the bottom, as anal is now allowed).

This DVD features:
Robots made by geeks having sex with AIDS riddled South African gymnasts, AIDS ridden South African Gymnasts having sex with eachother (DVD extra’s), special behind the scenes featurette with Craig Charles and Philipa Forrester personally testing all of the machines and smashing eachother while in a crack induced frenzy, behind the scenes interviews with the robot designers about their wildest fantasies

The Robot Whores franchise certainly isn’t for everyone, some times it can make quite uncomfortable watching (in the last season one of the gynmasts was probed to death) but if you’re a fan of something a bit out of the ordinary then this is the one for you

7/10

Thomas Aquinas

Is there a better way of remembering the People’s Princess than building a movable robot action figure out of discarded cigarette casings? No! So ditch the memorial plates and show your appreciation to the deceased royal with a model making project.

What You’ll Need

• 3 x Top opening, normal sized (20) empty cigarette packets.
• 2 x Top opening, small sized (10) empty cigarette packets
• Some loose fastening devices. Pins, matchsticks, tacks will all do.
• Some sort of gluey adhesive.
• A suitably sized picture of Princess Diana’s face.

Tips

Cigarettes can only be bought by people over the age of 18. If you’re underage then consider sneaking into a pub and using the fag machine. They’re also expensive so it might be seeing if Eastern European friend can get some on the cheap on his next visit home.

The cigarette packets need to be empty of cigarettes. Smoking can be bad for you, so why not share them with your friends to lessen the health burden.

Step 1

Open up two of the large packets, remove the metal foil from the inside and securely fasten the lids together. I’ve used some metal pin things, but use whatever you have handy.

Step 2

Open up the other large packet. Take out, but save the foil from inside – this will be used as a robo cape. Bend the lid all the way back and glue the foil between the main body of the packet and the lid, holding the whole thing in place.

Step 3

Prepare the arms by threading some of your mighty fastening devices (I’ve used matchsticks, but anything round will do) through the tops of each of the smaller packets. They should be able to rotate around the match stick so that Robo Diana can be moved into different poses. Make sure the long ends of the sticks are pointing out away from the opening side of the packet.

Step 4

Glue the main body of Robo Diana on to the legs. Make sure you hold her steady as it dries, and don’t get the cape caught up! With a bit of adjustment to the legs she should be able to stand on her own.

Step 5

Secure the arms through the shoulders of the body. The arms should be able to rotate around where they’re fixed to the shoulders and the opening hinge at the top of the fag packet should allow you open her arms up away from the body.

Step 6

Find a suitable picture to use for the head, print  it, cut it out and slide it into the top of Robo Diana. The one above should fit nicely into the top of your fag packet, but if you want to use your own then make sure you resize it to a little over 5cm wide for a nice snug fit.

And We’re Done!

Why not experiment with your fag packet models? You could create scenes in memory of Diana’s finest work. A fag packet AIDS victim or maybe some bottle top landmines. The possibilities are endless.