Tag Archive | "Man City"

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Sky’s plan to launch 3D channel in pubs scrapped

Posted on 28 January 2010 by spacey

3D

A plan by Sky to launch a new 3D channel in pubs has been scrapped after a test screening at a pub in Manchester ended up with a Man City fan trying to get into a fight with Wayne Rooney.

The incident occured after Wayne Rooney celebrated his stoppage time winner in last night’s Carling Cup semi final, in front of a group of Man city fans that were stood by the bar.

Eye witness reports state that one of the Man City fans swung a punch at Rooney, hitting a woman who was carrying a tray of drinks over to a group sat by the door.

Police were called after a fight then broke out between the 2 groups.

A police spokesman said “We can confirm that police were called to an incident at a pub in Manchester involving a group of males and a Manchester United footballer.”

Sky had planned to make the 3D channel available to hundreds of pubs from April of this year, but have pulled the plug after police expressed their concerns over the level of intelligence of the average football fan.

“Of course we are very dissapointed,” said a Sky spokesman. “We hope to re-introduce the 3D channel at a later date as soon as we can be confident that fans are able to tell the difference between a 3D image and a real person.” He continued.

In other news, Carlos Tevez and Gary Neville have re-ignited their war of words by exchanging Shakespearean insults.

Tevez is reported to have called Neville “A mammering beef-witted pumpion.” While Neville is rumoured to have referred to Tevez as ” That yeasty half-faced nut-hook.”

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Man City unveil plans

Posted on 15 January 2009 by spacey

carlton-palmer

Mega-rich football club Man City have announced plans to use more homegrown players in the future.

A spokesman for the cash happy premier league club said “We are going to grow players in a laboratory we’ve set up”

The plans have been likened to Jurassic Park by pundits with the club using DNA from international players from days gone by. The spokesman went on to state “Pele, Maradona, Cruyff, Van Basten, we’re going to grow them all.”

The plans however have experienced a few teething problems. This was highlighted when club scientists revealed that so far they’ve only managed to grow 3 Carlton Palmers and a Phil Neville.

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