Charlotte swung gently from the barn roof, focusing three of her beady arachnid eyes onto her new friend. She felt sad about what she must do to Wilbur, but hadn’t she just explained the ways of life to him? It was part of the natural progression of things.

She jumped, spraying a perfect light line of silvery grey behind her as she glided down onto the pig’s face. The vibration of his snoring was like a an earthquake to the small spider, but she had eight legs to help her balance as she crawled up towards his eyes. Wilbur was fast asleep, he wouldn’t feel a thing.

Gently she curled in her legs and dug under his eyelids, slipping round the back of his bulbous sleeping eyes, she gently burrowed through some connective tissue whilst spraying her anaesthetic bodily fluid behind her. Soon she reached the liquid cavity between Wilbur’s skull and brain. She strained as she dropped her egg sac against the pig’s frontal lobe. The warm damp dark would make a perfect place for her brood to start their lives.

Charlotte thought about what she had done as she made her way out through the pig’s eyes and back up the wall to her web on the roof. It would be a week before they hatched, her young awakening to devour Wilbur’s fleshy brain from the inside, causing the stupid pig massive pain as he’d collapse in a shuddering mess. Charlotte would miss Wilbur, but she was also looking forward to the hatching, it was the way of things.

“Tonight on Watchdog….

“The unscrupulous eBay guzumpers who go around winning auctions by bidding more money than everybody else. We give you hints on how to avoid these shady cheats and ask eBay what they’re planning to do about it.

“A special watchdog report on used car salesmen shows that nearly all the cars they sell are second hand. We send our investigative reporters to investigate.

“But first, milk. One of the standard items on most peoples shopping lists, but are we being ripped off? Following an inside tip off from a former employee at Tesco, we’ve found that Britain’s largest supermarket buys their milk at a lower price than the one they later sell it to us. We’ve got Tesco’s head of Sales here to answer some questions.

“Mr. Smith, How do you justify the way Tesco prices it’s milk?”

“Well of course we sell it on for a bit more, we’ve got to pay our staff, run the stores, transport the milk across the country….”

“That’s all well and good, but it’s not only milk is it? We’ve found you’ve got a similar pricing strategy with bread.”

“Well yes, for the same reasons. This is how retail wo…..”

“Eggs!”

“Eggs?”

“Yes, Eggs. You can come up with these individual excuses but it’s the same all the way across the shop floor isn’t it?”

“This is how retail works. If we didn’t make some money we wouldn’t be here at all. I think you’ll find our prices are very competati…..”

“Sorry we’re running out of time and I’m going to have to stop you there.

“We’ve got some emails coming in here, ‘My mate used to look after chickens and they let him have their eggs for free’. A good point from Barry in Calne. Maybe Tesco should be giving eggs away for nothing?

“Here’s another one from Barbara in Surrey, ‘Another classic case of rip off Britain. We’ve gone PC mad and we’re letting the immigrants push up the prices. It’s all Gordon Brown’s fault’. Thank you Barbara.

“The viewers clearly not convinced with the response from Tesco here today. Keep your emails coming in and you can check for any updates on our website, the address is at the bottom of the screen.

“Well that’s all we’ve got time for tonight. Next week we investigate high street bookmakers. Should you be given a refund if you pick the wrong horse by mistake? We think so. Good night”