If you’re visiting this site then you are probably one of 3 things:

1. Someone I know
2. Just been watching Laura Robson in some tennis match and in your depraved search for pervy shots of her, you have stumbled across Lethal Haystack’s Bukkake story
3.Some Eastern European spambot trying to spew untold amounts of perverted links directing us to filth and debauchery of a disgusting nature! Seriously, the thought of women writhing about in lesbian ecstacy,exploring each other’s bodies with the help of a variety of toys, food and garden machinery, their swaeting bodies……..is erm, yeah, disgusting

The thing that gets me about spam is the lack of effort that goes into slipping through the net. It’s always things like.

“Hi, just wanted to say that I liked your article and will be visiting more in the future.”

This would be potentially acceptable if it wasn’t for the fact that their name is usually something like hotdribblinggrannies.com or HowIlost30lbsinthirtyseconds.com

Occasionally they are written in some amazing language that in some cases is a joy to read. Sometimes I’m happy to let spam through if I think enough effort has been made. This is one of my absolute favourites so far..

Advantageously, the article is in reality the greatest on this precious topic. I harmonize with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your coming updates. Saying thanks will not just be enough, for the extraordinary clarity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates with my hemorrhoids review website.Authentic work and much success in your business dealings!Thank you very much.

I’m sure you’ll agree that that is absolutely beautiful. It was some spam that was submitted onto a story about Lottery presenter Jenni Falconer accidentally touching her anus while wiping her arse, so yeah, a ‘precious topic’ indeed.

The first poem from our resident poet, Morgan Freechild. Morgan currently has 5 published poetry collections, and writes mainly on the subject of the internet and morality. He is available to book for readings, and after dinner speeches.

Darkness

Look not upon these shameful eyes,
For they have stared into the dark,
And never will again see sky,
Or hear the sweet song of the lark.

This tranny porn I just wanked too,
Has ripped apart my glowing soul,
I really don’t know what to do,
That image of her gaping hole…

As I lie here in spunky mess,
I wonder how long it will be,
Before I take the mouse in hand,
And google Tranny Bukkake.

Teeny tennis starlet sensation Laura Robson was forced to pull out of Wimbledon today after her first round match descended into chaos as hundreds of spectators invaded the court to ejaculate over her.

The invasion was triggered after three times Wimbledon champion Boris Becker appeared to misunderstand shouts of ‘come on Laura’ from the crowd and leapt from the commentary box to begin furiously masturbating over her.

A confused Robson appeared stunned and motionless as more people followed suit to join the improvised porno. She was eventually rescued from the mob by Sue Barker who announced over the speaker system that she would be ‘available after the game for an anal gang bang in the changing rooms’.

The shocking events have cast further doubts over her inclusion in the senior event. In a press conference after the game her manager admitted that it may have been a mistake. ‘She is clearly too young to be able to deal with these kinds of events. It was also irresponsible of us to put that sort of jail-bait on display, and it’s no wonder the crowd got a little excited’.

It’s not the first time such an event has happened in world tennis. In 2003 Goran Ivanisevic attempted to defecate on Serena Williams, and 2004 saw Tim Henman infamously urinate on a ball girl mid match.

There are now calls for measures to be introduced to quell the frenzied sexual atmosphere in games. The Guardian today suggested Burkhas for players may be the way forward, whilst the Sun were much less extreme and believe compulsory pre-game masturbation booths would prevent a repeat of the horrors.