Floyd of the dead

The culinary world was ravaged with shock today as it was revealed that the recently deceased celebrity chef Keith Floyd has risen from the grave to host a new TV show called Floyd Feasts on the Living.

The show which will feature the undead chef cooking up a number of human based treats has been greeted with dismay by a host of TV chefs.

Jamie Oliver was just one chef that has voiced concerns about the content of the show. “Bish bash bosh! I’ve watched a pilot of the show and all it involved was Floyd attacking and eating people. There was very little cooking involved. If you’re going to make a cookery show then surely it should involve some cooking? Maybe if Keith knocked up a nice human with braised white cabbage, bacon and thyme or a chargrilled leg with asparagus, then it’d have some credibility. The bit I watched just involved him gorging on someone’s intestines. He didn’t even use any seasoning! Dib dab dob, wallop!” He argued.

The makers of the show, which is to be screened on Channel 5 from next week, have released a statement saying that the show hasn’t quite gone according to plan.

The statement read:

The show was originally intended to highlight Keith’s talent for cooking and his witty banter with the cameraman. Unfortunately the cameraman soon discovered that Keith was only really interested in satisfying his craving for human flesh. The soundman did try to distract Keith with a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, but unfortunately not before Keith had chewed the cameraman’s arm off. We suggested that he cooked up the arm with some shallots, garlic and a bouquet garni, but he preferred to eat it as it came.

The show airs next Wednesday at 9.00pm on Channel 5