As a follow up to the immensely popular “John Leslie’s Celebrity Dating Tips” Jed brings you our next instalment of A list Advice

He has been described by the Dali Lama as “My guiding spirit to the land of peace and tranquillity”

Today Hollywood peace icon Russell Crowe offers us insight in to his world of peace and calm as he gives us his Anger Management Tips.

I meet him in a chic London coffee shop, I order a latte, he orders a cup of green tea. It is a bright but chilly September afternoon, glistening in autumn sunshine.

Being a poet and artist Crowe starts off with 2 of his favourite calming quotes:

“Anybody can become angry – that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”
- Aristotle

“Fuckin’ Magoo! What are you doing here?”
- Russell Crowe

He then goes on to talk about boundaries and beginnings, how everyone at one point or another has been angry and how learning how to deal with anger is vital in having healthy lifestyle.

So what are Russell’s top tips?

1. Find a safe spot. The problem with anger it quickly escalates amongst the people around you as Russell goes on to explain:
“When I get angry I like to dress up like a neo-nazi and smack people” Russell admits “when I do this it’s really for the best that you find a safe place to hide because I can really flip my lid. Once I threw a garbage bin through a shop window. So if you see me in a hotel lobby with a sharp hair cut best hide”
I ask him where he would suggest hiding his reply is decidedly cryptic “You enjoy being cannon fodder for the system?”

2. “Most therapists say that you need to find an outlet for your rage” Russell muses, “but they are wankers and should fuck off, if you don’t know who the enemy is you can’t win the war. I find a good outlet for my rage is to kick my tv set. Try it you’ll feel better, or if you’re in the middle of downloading Dauphne and Celeste off itunes and your computer crashes, headbutt the fucking thing, you can’t break it and you’ll feel tonnes better. Then find those two little slags and rip their damn arms off”

At this stage of the interview Russell’s nostrils are staring to flare and he is sweating some what his fists clenched, almost paralyzed in anger.
“What the fuck are you staring at?” He snarls “Do you want to hear my 3rd tip or shall I knee you in the labia you stupid slut?”

I ask him to continue, noticing he has now produced some sort of Hitler Youth knife and is furiously moving it in and out of its sheath

3. “Here’s one I live by; Learn to act not react” He intones. “If you can feel the anger welling up inside you, go with your instinct”
And with out warning he punches me in the face and storms out of the room turning over a glass table and aiming a kick at a small dog on the way out. The joke is on him though when he tries to slam the door he can’t, it’s one of those ones on a hydraulic system that stops it being slammed, this makes him even angrier an he kicks the door several times until the glass breaks. Onlookers are startled and mother are quick to reign in their children.
He then runs off down the street screaming like a demented banshee and yelling “Trevor you cunt! You’re next!”

A kind old gent offers me a hanky as my nose is bleeding slightly and my eyes are full of tears.
I can’t really explain how I feel at this point, I was lost in his dreamy eyes for most of the interview, and despite the fact that tomorrow I’ll have 2 black eyes, I got chatted up by Russell Crowe, worth every salty tear.

“Trevor and I: A special friendship” By Russell Crowe is out now from Red Rag publishing